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Sirena’s World is Going Topsy-Turvy in Chapter 12

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Sirena’s  insides burned  and her head spun like the world  was rotating Topsy-Turvy.   This is  what is  happening to Sirena in the scene 2 chapter  12  of  my work in progress werewolf novel  During the Blue Hour.

I  finished the scene ‘Topsy-Turvey’ last  night  totaling  882 words  and the scene itself  coming together with  1185  words .   I didn’t   really set a goal for this scene.  However  this scene  was  in the first draft  and  I  had to totally rewrite it over  because it was a lot of characters who was in this  scene in the first draft but  are not in this draft.  I  replaced   them with other  characters .

  In this scene it is   a  sort  of  continuation from chapter  11. The reaction coming from  my main character Sirena’s POV.   And  she must  search for  Eli  in  all  the Flames  of Chaos  that is going on in the scene.

A lot happens .  In the opening of the scene she  is coughing  from all the smoke and  she jumps off the stage  rushing through a crowd  of screaming people and she  is trying  to figure out what is going on.   She  is  confused and disoriented. She hears things that are not supposed to be heard through  all the noise  like  the croak  of a  crow . Which is the earth diver  and  I  explained  what a earth diver is in my earlier  post EARTH DIVER &CREATION MYTHS IN MY WIP NOVEL.  And she  sees  violence she  never seen  before  amongst  the  towns  people. 

Through all this confusion . She tries to figure out what happened to herself  . Because she doesn’t  remember  dancing or even  being on  stage .   Another   thing  is she not  only tries  to evade her mother  who is  looking for her. But also the town delegator,  Mary Fleming  that  gave her the dance scholarship . 

She runs into her dance instructor  who  also   can’t remember even starting the recital and tells  her to go home  immediately .

But Sirena  has to find  Eli .  However,  she bumps  into  her sister Mercedes  who she knows  gave  her up to her  mother. Her  sister  is about  to signal their  mother but Eli  appears  and saves Sirena  my  blackmailing  Mercedes    and the two rush  off.

I tried   to make this scene   kind of intense  and Shaky by  having  Sirena navigate  through  the maze   of  the crowds that  stands  in her  way between her and her jeep.  Each  moment that she thinks she  is going to get   to her jeep she  gets  sidetracked or  interrupted.  And   I  try  to make it where there  is like this  claustrophobic anxiety of   will she get caught  or wont  she get caught . Especially the moment  she  runs into  Mercedes  .  I try  to make that  moment  a narrow  kind  of  deer  caught in headlights kind of feeling. 

I  feel  like in this draft  I accomplished a much better scene  that clicks together   with the other  scenes  in the chapter  because    of  the deletion   of  unnecessary  characters and  the addition  to ones  that make better  sense  especially for  the next  couple  of chapters. That was the problem I think I had in my first draft with this scene.

For  instance  there  was  the stepfather  from  the first draft.  Well  I  said in earlier  posts Why Writers Remove Some Characters but Keep Others? I deleted  his  character all together in this draft.  So obviously his presence in this scene  would  not make sense.  So what I  did   was I  added Sirena’s mother  Renee  in this scene  who wasn’t in  this scene  at all in the previous  draft .  She  didn’t show up  to the recital  at  all in  the last  draft.  Its  makes  perfect sense  in this draft.   Because of the previous  scenes  of the confrontations with her  mother.  I really believe it fits  better.    

I also added Eli.  His  character wasn’t  in this scene in the first draft .  But  it  makes  a lot  of sense to add  him in this scene  because  he  does  dance  with Sirena and I also  kind of make him  a  secondary character  in this  draft  where as  in the first draft  he was only in a  couple of scenes.  But his presence is important  because  I will be working on writing a novel  about him .

Another character that was deleted out  of  this scene  was Zios  . I wrote   about him in other  post My Deleted Character, Zios Short story coming soon….  Zios  is the father of Nadiya , Sirena’s  dance instructor.  He was an important character in the first novel  and  he  is also a  main character in  a prequal  that I wrote and additional short stories about him  that I’m writing.  Like I said in other post  I didn’t  feel the need to put him  in the novel anymore because  his character is really not needed  but I do mention him and will continue to mention him.   Instead  he is fully replaced   with his daughter  Nadiya  who  played an important role in the  first draft  and who will  play  an important role in this draft. 

I hope  eventually  within the finished product of the novel the significant changes  and  elevations  to this scene  that I  made  will be apparent.   I do know that this scene  is the  quiet  before the storm  kind of scene.  And that I’m building up to something big happening . 

The next scene will still be chapter 12 in Xavier’s POV.  

If you liked this blog post and you want to  see more content involving my work in progress During the Blue Hour Follow , Like , share  . But first  LET’S START A DIALOGUE

HAVE YOU REPLACED ANY OF YOUR CHARACTERS  WITH OTHERS IN A SCENE ?

 I  want to know so let me know in the comments  below.

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