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You’re Not Mortal is the 4th scene in the 14th chapter of the 2nd draft of the work in progress novel During the Blue Hour. I finally completed not only this scene but the whole of chapter 14. Let me tell you I was dawdling through this scene not because it was boring but because I had to rewrite most of it. The new version of this chapter came to 8928 words. The you’re not mortal scene came to 3554 words total. The longest word counts out of all the scenes and chapters so far in the 2nd draft.
SCENE SYNOPSIS: Sirena is finally told by Cristen that she is not mortal, but in fact a caninruh and that she must stay with the pack in order to protect her, but her reaction is more than what is expected from Cristen and Sirena runs off in disbelief back to her mortal community.
In this scene it is in the 1st love interest pov ; Cristen and he has to convince Sirena that she is one of them. I originally wrote the scene in 2012 within the first draft but it wasn’t this long. It’s pretty much the same but the interactions and locations are somewhat different.
In this draft Adrian shows back up to the group and in front of Sirena in the form of the large werewolf and ordinarily Sirena would be afraid, but she can tell the difference between Adrian and any other beast because of his apparent kindness.
But like I said Cristen is the main POV so his perception is warped in this scene but not because he is an empath, and he can sense the energies between both Sirena and Adrian. So, within this scene there is a lot of tension because he is the alpha of the yearling werewolf pack and sees Adrian as trying to undermine him. In reality Adrian has fallen for Sirena and they are talking telepathically. Cristen doesn’t like that.
My greatest pitfall for this chapter is trying to keep the tension between the triangles. In the other chapters Sirena’s attitude is not one of being afraid but curious, even though she uses the excuse she is going to find her friend it is also because she is curious about the teenage wolves that saved her from the bear. However, she is still running away from them because she is in disbelief over the fact Cristen has told her she is actually a werewolf like the rest of them.
Moreover, she runs away because she has to face this truth that is her most hidden and dreadful fear in which she had tried to keep buried and locked within her dreams.
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Do you have a character that has this most dreadful fear that they try to keep hidden ?
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